Sarir Khamsi
PO Box 809
APO AP 96555
h: 805-355-1445
sponge@futureone.com

Nabisco Brands Co.
Atten: The President
7 Campus Dr.
Parsippany, NJ 07054

Dear Madam/Sir:

You folks make chewing gum, I have ideas. Coincidence...I don't think so. Let me take this opportunity to share an idea of mine with you in order to make the world a better place to live, and I think we can all agree that this is why we are here.

My idea is as simple as it is elegant. Three words: Beet Flavored Gum! Now stay with me on this one. In the grand scheme of it all, beets have played a pivotal role in the advancement of society, too numerous to list here. Their role as the next logical step in the chewing genre all but jumps out at you, leaving you stunned and dismayed that someone has not thought of this before. We can't ignore the crucial intermingling beets have enjoyed with historical developments, such as politics, religion, socioeconomic prosperity, organized sports, interesting hand crafts mimicking lupus inflicted migrant farm workers, etc. Simply, the beet is the cornerstone of human endeavor, whose sole purpose is to usher in an ever advancing civilization, though I would be lacking to leave out that they also add zest to any salad.

Ladies and gentlemen, beets are my life. But don't take my word for it. Go the extra mile, make beet flavored gum and sit back to watch the hordes of people jumping right out of their homes, cars, bikes, planes and even sepulchers to get their fill. Sadly, we know they won't get their fill. Who could? Oddly enough, you may be forced to taint this gem with a slightly malordous and pungent chemical, to stop the near riotous cravings. Don't rule out using radioactive isotopes, though, since some people may feel health conscience about having chemicals added to their chewing products. (We know their thought patterns, "Say, this beet gum is dynamite!!, but I'd better go easy since I don't want to risk serious DNA mutation.")

Thank you for your time and I hope to be hearing about your shared excitment about beets.

Sincerely,